


Secret desires

by aerlinniel



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M, Thilbo, bagginshield, dream - Freeform, thorin/bilbo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-19
Updated: 2013-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-21 14:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/598554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aerlinniel/pseuds/aerlinniel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I sighed and laid down again on the spot in which I had been sleeping bare moments ago. I closed my eyes as I continued wondering the meaning of all of this and was assaulted once again with the memory of the dream and of Thorin's lips on mine, assaulted with the memories of the dream. Forgetting it would be harder than I could imagine</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot was terribly fun to make! I hope that you like it! (Once again, I couldn’t resist writing it. Writing fanfiction for these two is just irresistible for me). 
> 
> Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me.

                It was already dark by the time that we stopped walking that day. It had been a little more than two weeks since we had departed from Bag End towards our destiny, and while we had advanced a lot, it still wasn’t nearly enough. That was easy to see for even someone like me who had never strayed too far from The Shire. As I laid down on the floor, trying to get some sleep on the cold earth, from which I was barely shielded by the piece of cloth that I was laying on, my thoughts wondered to the other dwarves, to my companions. They all had such ability that it was admiring, shocking and saddening for someone like me, who had none of such kind of abilities. I knew how to go unnoticed, but that was hardly comparable to know how to use a weapon expertly.

 

It was a thought that had haunted me ever since we had departed and started the adventure. I was just a hobbit, no real smuggler and of no real use to the company or to Thorin. They, however, were the complete opposite. What would the company be without them? Thorin, however, was definitely the best out of them. During the short time in which I had been here I had had no problem sin recognising just how great of a leader he was, his bravery and loyalty to his men, his determination to get his homeland back… I had ended up admiring him, despite the harsh looks that he directed at me due to my lack of ability.

 

I looked around me, suddenly breaking my thoughts. Everybody was asleep, and no sound could be heard. This time it was Gandalf who had decided to be on the watch for any enemies, and I could barely manage to see him with the dim light produced by the fire that we had made. He seemed to be deep in thought, staring directly at the flames of the fire as if he was seeing something in them. I rolled around and focused on trying to sleep, remembering the last harsh look that Thorin had directed me. I was divided, hurt on one side because of those harsh looks and the undeniable harsh words that had or would accompany them and almost determined to change that notion that he had of me despite my lack of ability on another.

 

“I will do my best to change it” I thought as I closed my eyes, which suddenly felt heavy.

 

The looks hurt, and I knew that the words would hurt even more, but I would change them. I would make sure to change his opinion of me through doing my best. Unconsciousness then took me, and I finally fell asleep.

 

…

 

I suddenly woke up an unknown amount of times later. The fire was burning brighter than ever, strangely enough, and I had no sight of Gandalf around me. I sat up and looked around, but it was all darkness except for the fire. I was about to get up and look for Gandalf and the others when I felt a tug on my shoulder that made me stop dead on my tracks.

 

“Where are you going, Halfling?” I heard the one that could only be Thorin say.

 

I gulped. “Gandalf isn’t here, m-maybe we should better look for him” I said, nervousness taking over me.

 

He chuckled “Of course he isn’t here, none of the others aren’t here. They are sleeping at another place” He said, as he suddenly pushed me onto my back, pinning me against the floor.

 

“T-thorin, what are you doing? What will the others think?” I asked to the man directly above me.

 

His face lowered until it was resting on my neck, and he took a deep breath in. “The others aren’t here” He said with that beautiful and deep baritone voice of his.

 

I gulped, his voice affecting me in ways in which I was not prepared to admit. For a moment I could almost hear him as he had been singing back in my house all of those days ago, and I couldn’t help but to wish to hear him do so again. His voice was full of a richness that I hadn’t ever heard before meeting him, and I was unable to let go of it. I drew a sudden and sharp breath as soon as I felt his lips on the skin of my neck, gentle, caressing and so unlike him.

 

“Thorin?” I asked as I tried to look at him, but only managing to see his thick and dark hair.

 

“Don’t speak Halfling, this is all your fault after all” He just said as he kissed me again in that same spot.

 

I took a sharp breath again, feeling my blood rushing and my heart beating fast. I felt dizzy, as if this was unreal. Why was he doing this? What did he mean by this being my fault? I was about to speak again when he suddenly crashed his lips against mine in an angry and demanding kiss. His were softer than what they seemed like and I had ever imagined, and I could only respond, following the demands of the blood rushing through my veins and the strange desire that had been born in my brain and that I could feel throughout all of my body. I closed my eyes, knowing that he had done the same thing. I felt my arms snaking upwards and around him, pulling him closer to me and deepening the kiss. As the kiss broke he moved away from me a bit before resuming it as his hands moved with easy, touching clothing and expertly pulling it again. I opened my eyes and stared into his, drowning in the depths of their cold blue ones, which now were filled with strange and foreign lights and emotions. I pulled him closely to myself again, now both of our shirts off, feeling his burning skin brush against mine. I kissed him eagerly, my heart beating wildly and my blood rushing, and-

 

…

 

                I abruptly sat up and looked around me, seeing the sleeping figures of all of my companions, including Thorin, being illuminated by the once again dim fire. I looked around me, feeling out of place. What had happened? Why was everything suddenly different again? My eyes found their way to Thorin’s sleeping figure again, and I couldn’t help but to look away with a blush, suddenly knowing exactly what had happened. It had been a dream; it had all been a dream. A strange and vaguely attracting dream that I knew which I knew that wouldn’t leave my mind for weeks to come. It would be a miracle if I managed to look at Thorin’s eyes without blushing and looking away, a miracle.

 

                I took a deep breath in, trying to calm myself, and the proceeded to sigh while looking at the floor. Why had I even dreamed this? What had been the purpose of this dream? What did it mean? I then looked up, feeling someone’s eyes on me. Soon enough I was staring at Gandalf, and I gulped loudly. The way in which he was looking at me… he definitely knew. He definitely knew what I had dreamed. I looked away, suddenly feeling ashamed. I shouldn’t have dreamt something like this, such a thing after all wasn’t right. It… just…

 

I sighed and laid down again on the spot in which I had been sleeping bare moments ago. I knew that Gandalf wouldn’t say anything; he was someone to be trusted after all. I closed my eyes as I continued wondering the meaning of all of this and was assaulted once again with the memory of the dream and of Thorin’s lips on mine. I then knew that faking that nothing had happened; that this dream hadn’t existed would be harder than what I could possibly imagined.  


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sun rose slowly, almost as if tired. It ignalled the start of yet another day and the need to start getting ready to continue the journey. We were still far from our destination,, and it was imperative to keep advancing. I got to my feet, full of energy and noticed many of the others doing the same. I started packing quickly while some others prepared breakfast. It wouldn’t be long before we departed from our campsite. Soon, most of us were gathered around a dying fire eating the breakfast that had been prepared, the only person missing being Bilbo. I looked around, searching for the Halfling. Where was he? Had he gotten into any trouble? I frowned, as worry started bubbling inside me, which was uncharacteristic of me. However, it did not last long, as I quickly spotted the Halfling coming towards the fire, obviously tired, and with dark bags under his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second chapter! I didn't really expect or think about writing it when I finished the first one, but due to all the reviews and comments that I got telling me to write another chapter I decided to just write this I hope that you enjoy!
> 
> A million thanks to Rheastar for beta reading this! ^_^

                The sun rose slowly, almost as if tired. It ignalled the start of yet another day and the need to start getting ready to continue the journey. We were still far from our destination,, and it was imperative to keep advancing. I got to my feet, full of energy and noticed many of the others doing the same. I started packing quickly while some others prepared breakfast. It wouldn’t be long before we departed from our campsite. Soon, most of us were gathered around a dying fire eating the breakfast that had been prepared, the only person missing being Bilbo. I looked around, searching for the Halfling. Where was he? Had he gotten into any trouble? I frowned, as worry started bubbling inside me, which was uncharacteristic of me. However, it did not last long, as I quickly spotted the Halfling coming towards the fire, obviously tired, and with dark bags under his eyes.

 

                “Good morning,” said Bilbo, simiply. He sat in an open space around the fire and stared dully into the flames while all of us looked at him with a mixture of worry and confusion.

 

                “Bilbo, are you alright?” Bofur asked.

 

                “Why would I not be? Of course I am alright,” he immediately replied. His tone of voice was not quite convincing.

                I stared at him, frowning, wondering why he was so tired. He seemed to sense this, and returned the stare for a couple of seconds before looking away, his cheeks reddening.

 

                “What?” I wondered mentally, completely confused. Why did he look away? It wasn’t normal for the Halfling to act like that. Yes, we did not talk too often, but immediately looking away was not normal. I shrugged it off and decided to concentrate on eating and on planning today’s travelling, not noticing the amused spark in Gandalf’s eyes.

 

-.-.-

 

                The next time that I noticed any more strange behaviour from Bilbo was days later. Days in which Bilbo had been looking at me, constantly, when he thought that I did not notice. I had quickly become tired of pretending not to notice, and in the middle of a particularly long period of time during which he had been staring at me after we had set camp, I decided to turn around and stare back at him. He immediately responded by turning around and walking away, embarrassment evident in him, as he tried to make it seem that nothing had happened. Gandalf suppressed a snicker at this and looked at Bilbo with an amused expression on his face. I looked at Gandalf, confused. What was going on with the Halfling?

 

-.-.-

 

                “Isn’t the weather today lovely?” Bilbo suddenly asked, right after making sure that he was riding right next to me, at the start of the line.

 

                I looked at him. What kind of question was that? The weather today was obviously good; there wasn’t a single cloud in sight!

 

                “Yes?” I said with a confused tone of voice as I looked at Bilbo, not really knowing what to answer. I had thought when he had started riding beside me that he was going to tell me whatever had been troubling him for the past days, not make inane conversation about the weather.

 

                He frowned slightly, obviously not happy with the way I had answered. “It would be good if it didn’t rain,” he then added, looking at me.

 

                I could only help but to stare back at him, not knowing what to say. What was the point of this conversation?

 

                “Don’t worry Bilbo, it is unlikely that it will rain later,” I suddenly heard Kili, my nephew, say from behind me with a smirk plastered on his face.

 

                “T-that’s good,” Bilbo said, looking away yet again as his face reddened, soon allowing his pony fall behind.

 

                I could only help but to look at Bilbo as he got further and further behind in the line and then at Kili, who was still smirking, with confusion in my face. What was happening?

 

-.-.-

 

                “You look specially lovely today,” Bilbo suddenly told me the very next day, right before breakfast had been prepared. A light blush adorned his cheeks as he said this, but he quickly walked away before I could answer. I suddenly felt the need to look at my reflection. Was something wrong?

 

                “Don’t worry uncle, you really do look lovely today” Kili said with that smirk again on his face, obviously having heard what Bilbo had said.

 

                I shook my head and decided to forget about the whole thing. My thoughts turning to food before we began our days travel.

 

-.-.-

 

                A week passed with these odd occurrences repeating over and over again. Bilbo talked about seemingly pointless things. He spoke of the weather for far too much time, he stared at me and looked away as soon as I looked back and he commenting on my appearance every single day. It was starting to become so odd that I had even asked some of the others what was going on, yet it seemed no one could give me a good answer. Strangely enough none of the others could understand what was happening either, or so they said. Not even Kili, which was outright suspicious. It was obvious that he did know something of what was going on.

 

I sat on a log and stared directly at the fire as I continued thinking about this strange occurrence. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Gandalf, also staring at the fire.

 

                “I found this today Thorin, I wanted to give it to you,” I suddenly heard a voice behind me say, almost startling me.

 

                I turned around and saw none other than the object of my thoughts I frowned and looked at what he was offering me, noticing a bright red flower. I looked at it, expectantly, not knowing what to do. Was this some hobbit custom that I did not know of?

 

                “It is for you, Thorin,” Bilbo repeated, moving the flower closer to me.

 

                I didn’t move, and instead decided to ask for the purpose of the ‘gift’. Such a gift seemed to be completely pointless. Why offer it? “Why are you giving this to me, Bilbo?” I asked the hobbit.

 

                He gulped audibly and looked away for a moment. “I just found it today, I want you to have it,” he said, almost putting the small plant on my hands.

 

                “Alright,” I said taking the flower still unsure of his motive for offering it to me.

 

                “What do you think of it?” he asked, looking directly into my eyes.

 

                I kept looking at him, answering honestly what I thought of the flower. Why he had given it to me was a complete mystery, and why he was asking about my opinion was even stranger. “It seems to be quite pointless,” I  said.

 

                There was a pregnant silence for a few moments, before he answered with an evidently sadder expression. “Oh, I see,” he said, and walked away.

 

                I stared after him for a moment and then down at what he had just given me with a frown. Had I said something that had hurt him? If so, what? I remembered then that Gandalf was quite close by and would have undoubtedly seen the whole thing.

 

                “Gandalf, why did Bilbo give me this?” I asked him after a few moments of internal debate.

 

                He looked at me and then the flower then the direction into which Bilbo had walked away for several moments. With an amused and slightly mischievous glint in his eyes.

 

                “Hobbit’s are simple creatures Thorin. Their customs are quite different from those of a dwarf, this includes their courting,” He said.

 

                I frowned again. “What do you mean?” I asked, not understanding what he meant. Courting involved other things for dwarves and none of Bilbo’s behaviour of late was similar.

 

                “Giving flowers is typical of hobbits courting other hobbits, Thorin, as is being sweet, and talking often to the other person and complimenting,” He answered.

 

                I felt my heart skip a beat as I realised what he meant. Had the hobbit been courting me? Surprise was quickly replaced by a feeling of regret. My response must have been terribly bad for Bilbo to have walked away with such an expression of sadness on his face. I thanked Gandalf and quickly stood up, walking in the same direction in which Bilbo had walked away moments before.

 

It didn’t take long to find him. He was sitting on the ground, talking to Kili and Bofur.

 

“Bilbo,” I said as calmly as I could, feeling my heart racing for some reason.

 

“Yes?” He asked as he stopped talking to the other two dwarves and looked at me, the other two doing the same thing out of curiosity.

 

“I wanted to thank you for giving me this. I did not realise before what you meant by it,” I just said, feeling anxious inside.

 

The hobbit smiled warmly, making heat rise to my face and my heart beat ever so slightly faster. “You are welcome, Thorin,” He said as his face reddened again.  “Perhaps we could walk around for a bit of time?” He then asked me.

 

My heart kept beating fast and I felt my face become even redder as I finally understood what the hobbit was really asking. “Of course,” I said with a light smile.

 


End file.
